


instax

by NoStringsOnMe



Series: instax [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First War with Voldemort, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV Lily Evans Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:40:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23527780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoStringsOnMe/pseuds/NoStringsOnMe
Summary: September 1971: in which an 11 year old Lily Evans encounters Bellatrix Black for the first time and begins to consider Hogwarts as her home.
Series: instax [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693111
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	instax

**September 1971**

_ Dear Tuney, _

__

_ Hogwarts is not what I was expecting. Not at all. _

__

_ Remember all the used we used to read, you know, all the Einid Blytons and the ‘Katie Did’ books? Well, in those books, the boarding schools are so well ordered, there’s a strictness and a hierarchy that isn’t to be disputed. But here, at Hogwarts, it’s chaos. _

__

_ Nothing stays still. The portraits move, the staircases move, and I swear I’ve seen the suits of armour move as well. There are ghosts down almost every hall and Peeves the poltergeist causing mayhem here there are everywhere just because he can. Honestly, Petunia it really is quite overwhelming more often than not. _

__

_ Don’t misunderstand, the people are lovely. I get on really well with the girls in my dormitory and I’ve even met and made friends with a few others from other houses. Did I tell you about Mary in my last letter? No, I don’t suppose I did. We met on the train and I so hoped we’d be sorted together but she’s in Hufflepuff. She’s Muggleborn too, like me, so it would have been so nice to be in the same house. Oh! And, she’s from the Isle of Skye, you know, and she had to come all the way down to London to get the train which seems so silly to me. _

__

_ Classes are fascinating and I have so much to learn. I can’t wait to dive into everything. Professor Slughorn, our Potions Master says I show promise! Already! Can you believe it! See, all those days spent cooking together, following recipes, has finally paid off! _

__

_ Anyway, I really should dash. Give mum and dad my love. I miss you soooo much Tuney, please write back soon. _

__

_ Lily. _

Giving her letter one last read over and nodding to herself, the eleven-year-old Lily Evans stuffed the letter into its envelope and fastened it to the leg of her newly bought tawny owl, Athena. The bird fixed her with its amber-eyed stare and blinked slowly. Lily stroked the owl’s head and held out an arm like the man at the shop had shown her. Athena hopped on, ruffled her wings and settled down, feathers fluffed. As she led the bird to the window of the owlery, she wondered idly what the neighbours must think when they see such a large owl flying to and fro from her parents house several times a week.

Athena didn’t waste any time in taking off and heading out into the brightening sky. It was Saturday morning and Lily had been at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for a whole ten days. She leaned out of the porthole window as far as she dared and breathed in the cool, crisp September air. The barest hint of Autumn was there, she could feel it in her bones. With one last sweeping look across the near deserted grounds, the young girl turned away, thoughts of breakfast on her mind.

As she picked her way out of the owlery, Lily became aware of raised voices. They appeared to come from just down the spiral staircase. Not wanting to intrude, she lingered on the landing.

“-a disgrace to the family name. If your mother had any sense she’d disown you for this now. Merlin’s beard, I can barely look at you. Narcissa managed it, why not you, eh?” The voice belonged to a girl, it was raspy, spitting venom. Lily wondered who could possibly be the subject of such ire.

“Bella,” a softer voice now, another girl. “Leave him be. Nobody gets to choose their house. It’s not his fault.”

“He’s in a house full of mudbloods and blood traitors, he’ll turn out like them soon enough. He’s always been a weakling,” sneered the raspy-voiced girl, Bella. There was a small yelp and the girl laughed but it was devoid of any warmth. It was a sound that raised the hairs on Lily’s arms.

She dithered on the landing, not sure if she should go and confront the girl. Except that this was none of her business and clearly this was some kind of family matter. It didn’t concern her. She could just wait for them to leave and they need never know she was there. As she considered this option, the low growl of the Sorting Hat rang in her ears, Gryffindor was the house of the brave, and skulking in the shadows wasn’t exactly befitting of someone who’s house was represented by a fierce lion rampant. Plus, her mother had raised her to know right from wrong and whatever was going on down the stairs was very wrong.

Heart quickening in her chest, Lily hurried down towards the voices. She found them on the next landing down, two older girls flanking a small, dark haired boy. The girls had their backs to her and all she could see was their long, curly brown hair and the hooded cloaks that hung from their shoulders: black velvet with silver and green brocade lining.

At the sound of her approaching footsteps, they moved and Lily saw that the dark-haired boy was, in fact, her classmate, Sirius Black. Gone was the easy smile she’d already grown accustomed so to and there was no laughter in his grey eyes. His face was pale and his eyes darted back and forth between them. One hand was clamped to his shoulder and, if Lily was much mistaken, there were tears threatening to spill out onto his cheeks.

“Hi Sirius,” she chirruped, manoeuvring to the boy’s side and placing herself firmly between him and the girls. “Lovely morning, don’t you think?”

Now that she was next to him she was able to get a better look at the girls baring down on him. They must have been around sixteen and were almost mirror images of each other, sharing the same pale skin, dark hair and eyes, and upward tilt to their nose. But where one had a look of serenity, the other seemed to be quaking with barely suppressed rage, her mouth curling into a mean sneer. Bella, she assumed.

“Um, hullo,” he said gruffly, avoiding her eyes and not letting go of his shoulder.

“I was just about to get some breakfast. Do you want to join me?”

Sirius’ eyes flickered between them once more

“That’s an excellent idea. Yes, Bellatrix, let’s leave Sirius to his friend. We can continue this conversation later. Perhaps once you’ve had time to cool down,” the other girl cut in before Bella could say anything, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, a tight but kindly smile etched onto her fine features.

“You’re lucky that Andromeda is such a  _ kind-hearted _ soul, Sirius. This conversation isn’t over,” the older girl hissed, jabbing her finger at Sirius. He flinched, causing Bellatrix to smirk, lips curling and eyes dancing with dark mirth.

She turned and stalked off, her cloak rippling. Andromeda paused, her expression pained.

“I’m sorry, Ris, I tried to stop her,” she said in a low voice, the words tumbling out in a desperate hurry. “I held her off as long as I could.”

The girl dithered, looking between Sirius and the stairwell that Bellatrix had just disappeared behind.

In a flurry of movement that took Lily by surprise, Sirius darted forward and threw his arms around Andromeda’s waist, burying his head into her chest. She staggered, taken aback, but she smiled and returned the hug, gripping him tightly and bending her head towards him to place a kiss on the top of his head. But it lasted only a second before she was disentangling herself and hurrying away with a waggle of her fingers.

The two stood alone now, silence stretching taut between them.

“Thank you,” said Sirius in a soft, quiet voice Lily had never heard before.

Normally so boisterous and full of life, seeing him so subdued was disconcerting. The tears that had been threatening to fall finally broke the dam and cascaded down his cheeks. He quickly scrubbed the cuff of his jumper across his reddening face.

“It’s okay. Who were those girls anyway?” Lily asked curiosity finally spilling out.

“My cousins,” he replied in a monotone. “Bellatrix isn’t happy I’m in Gryffindor.”

Lily chewed the inside of her lip, unsure of what she could say to make him feel better.

“I mean, Gryffindor is a fine house and—”

“Being in Slytherin is a point of pride in my family. Tradition.” He spat out the last word like it left a sour taste in his mouth. The way his face rumpled in disgust made the family resemblance between him and his cousin Bellatrix all the more apparent. “Your name is Evans, right?”

It was hard not to feel stung by the fact he seemingly didn’t know her name after more than a week of classes together so she just nodded mutely.

“That’s not a wizarding name. So I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

Taking a step back as if struck, Lily opened her mouth to unleash some scathing retort but nothing came. Heat flooded her face and her fingers curled into fists. Blood roared in her ears. As if realising what he’d said, Sirius’ grey eyes widened and threw his hands up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!” he babbled.

No, Lily understood. Ever since she had received her Hogwarts letter all those months ago she had taken out a subscription to the Daily Prophet which she made sure she read cover to cover, desperate to know more about this world she was going to be a part of for the rest of her life. With increasing regularity there were reports of crimes against muggles and Muggleborns, of the rising support for the man they called the Dark Lord. She knew her presence at Hogwarts was an affront to many traditional Pureblood families. Except, she’d hoped it wasn’t true and that the reports were sensationalised.

Her friend, Severus, had told her too. With his witch mother and muggle father, he was a halfblood and insisted that blood status didn’t matter, shouldn’t matter and it should all be based on talent and achievement. ‘Who cares how long your family has been magic?’ he’d cry. ‘If you’re the best then you’re the best and we’re going to be the best, you and me.’

Sirius took a step towards her. “Evans,” he began but Lily held up a hand, not wanting to hear his excuses.

“Keep my name out of your mouth if you’re going to be like that,” she snapped. “I’m just as deserving to be here as you.”

And with that she turned on her heel and stormed off, leaving the boy wide eyed behind her.

Angry tears pricked her eyes as she hurried down the spiral staircase. Her footsteps echoed loudly off the stone walls and they were soon joined by a second set, creating quite the clattering din.

“Wait! Please wait!” Sirius called out after her, his voice cracking. “Evans, please, I’m sorry.”

His cry made Lily pause and look back. He was flushed and his eyes still glittered with unshed tears.

“I don’t want to be like that. I know you deserve to be here,” he said. “My family, they think that but I don’t. Really I don’t.”

Heat still pounding, Lily regarded him, letting her eyes sweep from head to toe. He was well put together and the thick, dark blue cable knit jumper and brown suede shoes he wore looked expensive. The Black family were old magic she remembered, old and very rich. Walburga Black was often quoted in the Daily Prophet, sought out for her valuable opinion on this thing and that occurrence even if she was in no way connected. And, Lily recalled, she had some awfully strong opinions, particularly when it came to magic and who should be allowed to use it.

“If you say so,” Lily replied, her voice holding much steadier than she felt. She didn’t know if she believed him. Her pride was bruised and she was hurt but seeing Sirius so uneasy softened her ever so slightly. “But talk to me like that again and I’ll hex you.”

She was only half joking but she smiled all the same and gestured down the staircase.

“Breakfast?”

Their walk down to the Great Hall was uneventful and their conversation was overly polite and superficial. Clearly, Sirius didn’t want to offend and risk her making good on the threat to hex him. As they entered the hall, a loud call went up from the Gryffindor table for Sirius to hurry up and join them. Her companion waved goodbye, thanked her again and half ran to join his friends. Lily watched as his entire demeanour changed as he approached his friends: his shoulders straightened, his chin lifted and there was a distinct swagger to his walk. James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew greeted him with a roar, drawing him into loud conversation before he was even halfway to the table.

Lily shook her head and turned to find her own friends.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Sirius Black, Lily,” stated Marlene McKinnon with mock nonchalance. She was spooning yoghurt into a bowl and pretending she wasn’t keeping more than half any eye on the small group of boys cluttered around the Gryffindor table.

They were sitting a few tables away, at the table usually used by Hufflepuffs at dinner. Marlene was a fellow Gryffindor and Lily’s roommate. Since getting to know her over the last few days, Lily had decided that Marlene was like fire and wind; always running hot and cold and just as changeable. She was one of the youngest in their year, having only turned eleven two weeks before term started, but she was full of brash confidence and unbridled enthusiasm that often bubbled over into whatever she happened to be doing at that moment.

“I’m not,” Lily answered, sitting down next to her and reaching for the porridge. “I met him on the way back from the owlery.”

That much, at least was true. The altercation she had witnessed seemed like something best kept quiet. Marlene narrowed her blue-grey eyes and pressed her lips together but didn’t press the subject. Instead, she shook back her long mane of golden blonde hair and busied herself with toppings for her yoghurt. Lily loved Marlene’s hair, it was thick, silky soft, and shimmered like molten gold in the sunlight. She even liked the leather headband she wore across her forehead to keep it from falling into her eyes.

“Who were you sending a letter to?” piped up Mary MacDonald from across the table.

“My sister.”

“Did she ever reply to your last one?”

“No, but I’m sure she’s just busy with school.”

She gave her porridge a prod with her spoon, appetite suddenly disappearing.

“Give it time, I’m sure she’ll come around.” Mary reached across the table and gave Lily’s hand a quick squeeze.

Lily glanced up and met Mary’s gaze. Quick, dark brown eyes filled with softness and love peeked out from underneath a blunt, raven black fringe. A generous smattering of freckles dotted her high cheekbones and inordinately long lashes framed her upswept eyes. Ever since they had met on the train, Lily had felt an instant kinship with the skinny Hufflepuff. She was a slight girl, all knobbly wrists and bony ankles but she was far stronger than she looked. Hailing from the Isle of Skye, she had grown up on a croft, raising sheep and tending crops with her parents.

“I hope so. I miss her,” Lily murmured, very aware of the petulant tone creeping into her voice. Wanting to change the subject, she asked to no one in particular, “What are we doing today anyway?”

“Lily, you have all those records you brought with you from home, why don’t we educate these witches on Muggle music?” Mary’s smile was eager as she gestured to the clear blue sky above them. “We don’t have any homework and the sun is shining.”

A wicked smile broke across Marlene’s face.

“Yes!” she cried. “Lily, please! I’ll help you down with your record player and the record box.”

Her eyes were bright and her enthusiasm infectious. How could she say no?

Shovelling down the last of her rapidly cooling porridge, Lily stood to follow her retreating friends. She happened to glance around the hall and her eyes alighted on the Slytherin table where Bellatrix and Andromeda were deep in conversation. Their words were rushed, hands gesticulating, and even from her vantage point, Lily could see furrowed brows and curling lips. Bella broke off. Black eyes found green. A soundless snarl. Heat flooded the young girl and she hurried to catch up with her friends. As she passed the Gryffindor table, Sirius caught her eye. He nodded in silent camaraderie. She averted her gaze, hunched her shoulders and made a beeline for Gryffindor Tower.

For the rest of the day, Lily tried her best to forget the morning and its topsy turvy chain of events. If there was one thing she didn’t want to do while at Hogwarts it was to get caught up in drama that didn’t concern her. So, she sat by the lake with her friends and listened to records. Some she had taken from her parents’ collection but most were hers: The Beatles, Rolling Stones and the Jackson 5 were heavy in the rotation.

They sat together in a tangle of limbs and Lily rested her head on Marlene’s lap, letting her braid her hair with quick, nimble fingers. Their conversation was lazy, mostly talking about home and the lives they had left behind. Marlene was fascinated by Mary’s life on the croft and the isolation of living on an island even one as close to the mainland as Skye. Most of Marlene’s family were witches and wizards so her contact with any kind of Muggle life was limited.

The music drew a crowd. Students of all ages lingered close to the trio. Some bopped their heads or tapped their feet in time, others, Muggleborns presumably, sang along with the words. The warmth was yet to be leached from the autumn sun and lounging in its gentle heat was a thoroughly pleasant way to spend an afternoon. 

For just a moment, Lily thought that she could really call this place home. If she wanted.


End file.
